This Crocodile Curry recipe is specially for the slightly more adventurous cook. ENJOY!
PERSONNEL NEEDED:
1 Chef
8 Kitchen assistants
4 Spare assistants on standby
INGREDIENTS:
- 3 Large Crocs (C. Niloticus)
- 1 Smoked warthog
- 3000 Green peppers
- 1-4kgs of Curry Powder (depending on how hot you like it) I personally like the ‘Mother-in-Law’s tongue” brand
- 1/2 ton rice
- 1 Tree of Bay Leaves
PREPARATION:
- Beat crocs over the heads with a sledgehammer.
- Collect tears in 44 gallon drums and use them for salad dressing.
- Chef tells assistants to place crocs into heated swimming pool. Turn on the steam. Make sure that the crocs area quite dead – otherwise spare assistants might be required.
- Boil for 10 days. After 7 days, skin can be pulled off – which is
used for handbags etc. Nice keepsake for the invited guests. During the 10th day the teeth will fall out and are used for jewellery and amulet’s. - Cut off tail and use for Crock-tail soup at a later stage – keep in deepfreeze once cooled off.
- Surviving assistants then must cut crocs into bite size cubes.
- Add remaining ingredients and allow to simmer for a further 2 days.
- Taste to see if it has enough spices etc. I sometimes like to add apricot jam to give it extra juiciness and flavour – about 5 kgs or to taste should do.
- Curry should be ready when the vultures start circling above.
Serves approximately 1250 people.
PS – Let your mother-in-law try it out first
